Dealing with Anxiety, And How to Work with it Naturally

2017 is here!

And I am back to blogging! Hello, World!
I took a break from blogging, I was burnt out with all the writing, hectic social media, networking and was dealing with some personal issues. I needed time to find peace and balance within myself.

Anxiety is a horrible thing. I needed some time to decompress and deal with the anxiety I was feeling. Funny thing for the longest time I never knew that feeling on my chest, that constant worry and lack of appetite were anxiety. It wasn’t until I was talking with my mother one day, and I mentioned it, that she finally gave me a name for it.

2017 to me represents to me a whole lot of changes, and that can be overwhelming and scary. However, I believe that whenever something feels scary is when I have to do it the most! So ready or not the time is NOW. I have lived in Houston, Texas for 6 years now. I got married earlier 2016 and thought my life was taking a turn – and it did – but in a different direction. Life doesn’t often go the way we plan, and that is ok. I am now once again ready to embark on a new journey, alone with my son, back into the unexpected just like we did when we moved from the UK to the USA in 2010.
I am excited, I am scared but more than anything I am determined.

Back to the Anxiety:
So, I decided to take a natural route to solve my problem. I threw myself into daily yoga and meditation, and I tried to understand the root of my feelings. And I found myself, and the core of my peace. Happiness is a personal choice, and it is dependent only on us and no one else. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the daily routines of our life and we forget about that inner fire that makes us who we are. Don’t let life dull your light. We can be mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, wives. We can be entrepreneurs, writers, lovers. We can be so many things but don’t forget to above all be YOU.


Deal with it, Don’t Ignore it!

Whatever it is that is bothering you, deal with it. Feelings don’t go away they only get more intense. Understand what you are feeling and allow yourself to break apart – and then build yourself back up from the ashes.

Some natural “remedies” to help you ease the anxiety:

– Yoga: I cannot stress enough how important Yoga can be for you if you are feeling anxious, or nervous. Learning how to breathe and how to understand your body can help you regulate your moods, and it also leaves you feeling relaxed and refreshed.

– Chamomile Tea: Some compounds in chamomile (Matricaria recutita) bind to the same brain receptors as drugs like Valium.

– Green Tea: Research shows that L-theanine helps curb a rising heart rate and blood pressure, and a few small human studies have found that it reduces anxiety.

– Exercise: sounds cliche, but yes! a simple 2mile run or walk outdoors can do wonders for your body and mind. “If you exercise on a regular basis, you’ll have more self-esteem and feel healthier,” says Drew Ramsey, MD, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, Columbia University, who blogs at

– Lavander essential oils: with an oil diffuser, infuse your room with some lavender. Lavender has been also used internally for mood imbalances such as anxiety, insomnia, and gastrointestinal distress.

– Writing, painting, drawing: all these activities can release stress, and can also make you forget about your problems for a while, giving you some much needed relieve.

Check out this video with a simple Yoga session to relieve stress and anxiety

If you are suffering from anxiety, consider natural ways to take control. Speak to a friend (I am SO grateful for the network of amazing friends I have and are always there for me) Or take time out, whatever works for you. I had to do both.

Just remember anxiety is nothing but fear of the unknown. Embrace the future with all its challenges, I promise you, I’ll be alright.


OnixJ Book Release:: Find it, Read it, Keep it! #OnixJBooks

It’s December 1st! whoa, can you believe how fast 2016 went by? Big year, huh? Glad is over hopefully 2017 will come in with a lighter vibe and with some good advances in humanity. *wishful thinking*

Books make me happy 🙂

So in the spirit of giving back, I have decided to release 10 books from my personal collection! I will be giving away some of these books by letting them free for anyone to grab at different locations around Houston! Montrose area at the University of St.Thomas campus will be my starting point. Other books will be left at different coffee shops around Montrose.

Books to be released, Au Revoir!
1. Kissing the Virgin’s Mouth, by Donna M. Gersten
2. Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes Nemesis Lives Again, by John Gardner
3. Wrecked, by Charlotte Roche
4. The Solitude of Primer Numbers by Pablo Giordano
5. Prague, by Arthur Phillips
6. Uncage me, by Jen Jordan
7. The Keys of Egypt by Lesley & Roy Adkins
8. The Dante Club, by Matthew Pearl
9. Sea Glass, by Maria V Snyder
10. The Birth of Venus, by Sarah Dunant

I will tweet locations once I drop the books, sometime next week (December 5th) Join me on social media! Follow me on Snapchat and Twitter while I drop books around Houston, and feel free to join the fun!
Tweet: It’s Xmas time! @onixjihane is releasing books around the city! find them, read them, keep them! #OnixJBooks

If you find a book please post a picture and use #OnixJBooks, tag me if you want too @onixjihane (twitter/Instagram)

Happy reading!



Tuesday Thoughts::Cultural Dimensions

Where do you want to go?

Oh, the world has gone bonkers! Have you seen the news lately? (Of course, you have, we all have) Between Brexit and the inevitable impending doom about to engulf the US with the current presidential election circus (which ends today) and the horrible acts of inhumanity happening in North Dakota, and the hundreds of other things happening all over the world, where are we going to end up?


Where are we going? While studying cultural issues during my masters I learned about “Cultural Dimensions” See Geert Hofstede. There was one particular dimension in the American society that resonated; that one trait that many foreigners (myself included) struggle to understand. Individualism. The “me” above the “we” the “I” above the “Us”

Individualism is the opposite of collectivism. It is known as the degree to which individuals are integrated into groups. On the individualist side, we find societies in which the ties between individuals are loose: everyone is expected to look after him/herself and his/her immediate family.
On the collectivist side, we find societies in which people from birth onwards are integrated into strong, cohesive in-groups, often extended families (with uncles, aunts, and grandparents) which continue protecting them in exchange for unquestioning loyalty.

These huge distances in cultural dimensions is the hardest to understand for multicultural couples who come from different types of societies (See Hispanic and anglo for example)

According to, the United States is one of the most Individualist cultures in the world, with a score of 91. Guatemala, on the other hand, scores just 6 in the individualist scale. (source

Where is the balance? Should we strive to push individualism or collectivism? Should we address the importance of family units beyond the nuclear family or should we just care for our offspring and spouse?

Where do you want to go? I ask myself as I stand here today. Thirty-something millennial ready and wanting. I want to do more for society. I want to achieve more as a person. Wanting to go more places. But as individualistic as that might sound with all its “I’s” above all, I want to do it for the collective group, not just for me.

Just remember that today, on election day. Remember WE can make a difference. We can have an impact. We can do this.

For more information about Hofstede cultural dimensions:

These four groups became the Hofstede dimensions of national culture:
Power Distance (PDI)
Individualism versus Collectivism (IDV)
Masculinity versus Femininity (MAS)
Uncertainty Avoidance (UAI)
National Culture Dimensions – Geert Hofstede

Next week, let’s explore Masculinity versus Femininity (MAS).

Coffee Talks, and Taste Buds :: #NationalCoffeeDay

You guys! I have been MIA from the blogging-sphere! So busy, but always thinking of you (my readers)  And because I love you all so much I decided to be a little more open-minded about this whole coffee-loving business.


I am not a coffee person.  I LOVE tea, all types, all colors, and all flavors. I am one of those rare creatures who doesn’t like the bitter taste of coffee lingering in my mouth. I live a coffee-free life. Yes, yes it is possible.

However today September 29th is National Coffee Day! So let’s celebrate all things caffeinated. I invited my friend and  blogger colleague Jess from Reinventing Jess to go out and taste some unusual and special coffee. I asked her to take me to her favorite coffee spot in town, and that she did! She suggested The Doshi Coffee House and I can tell you I was not disappointed!


The place is nice, small, cozy and intimate. It isn’t too loud and the natural light that comes in is just perfect. A small vintage piano sits in one corner, and a bookshelf with tons of books (double yes!) You can find comfy couches and small tables next to the windows. It is perfect.

I asked the owner to suggest some coffee for someone who doesn’t usually like coffee. He nailed it with his suggestions. We tried the Pistachio Latte, the Hawaiian Coffee (with coconut milk) and the African Toba.


“French press is the best method to use when making coffee at home”

Pistachio Latte: creamy, sweet, nutty, not bitter. It’s light and silky. The pistachio milk is made in house. It is perfect for the non-coffee lover. THIS coffee right here might transform me into a coffee drinker.

Hawaiian Coffee: slightly bitter and a little stronger, this coffee is like a soft kiss in paradise. Creamy, and toasty with a light coconut taste. The coconut is light enough to let the coffee flavor come through but strong enough for you to know there is coconut in there.

African Toba: this one doesn’t taste like coffee at all. According to the owner this coffee is usually used for medicinal purposes. It has considerable amounts of cloves grounded with the coffee and natural sweetener. Very light, very aromatic because of the cloves, it almost feels like tea.

Three perfect choices for a non-traditional coffee person. Huge thanks to Doshi Coffee House! We had fun talking and tasking coffees.

Overall I enjoyed the whole experience. Many thanks to Jess and her awesome husband and kid for coming along. Their insights into the coffee world were very educational. Jess talked about her early days working as a barista and how she came to appreciate the full taste of coffee. It is always interesting to see how different people like different tastes, while Jess and I enjoyed the exotic tastes her husband went for a familar and more traditional latte, which was also good but has that lingering taste I don’t like.

Am I a transformed person? yes, and no. My mind has opened into the world of coffee and I can’t wait to try more. However, I feel I have a flair for the exotic and wish to try more Indian, African and South American coffees rather than traditional brews. But regardles of it all, tea remains king in my kingdom!

How do you like your coffee?

PS: Doshi Coffee House serves vegetarian food!! It doesn’t get any better than that!

Happy National Coffee Day!



Plant-Based Diet Made Easy! with Micaela Cook Karlsen’s Book

If you follow my blogging rambles, you probably know we are mostly vegetarian (my son and I) – and I say mostly because we still eat some dairy (yogurt, cheese) and the occasional chicken as well as fish and seafood. However, we do embrace the plant base life as much as we can. Our diet is 75% plant-based at the moment, and it consists of much more than only salads.

Spinach and Puffed Quinoa on Toast, and Jasmine Tea ❤

Last week my son traveled to L.A with my parents, so I decided, since I was child-free and living the crazy life (right?) to do a whole 100% plant based week diet last week. That meant no dairy! I equipped myself with a variety of vegetables, cereals, and legumes and I started my plant-based week.

Why? well, I was inspired by the book “A Plant-Based Life” by Micaela Cook Karlsen, which I received a few weeks ago and which is now on sale for you to grab. The book, unlike many others, offers way more than just recipes. It offers a comprehensive and detailed list of things to consider when going plant-based.


Micaela, a doctoral candidate in nutritional epidemiology has crafted a book easy enough to understand so all you need is the will and the desire to learn more about the plant-based diet.

“Going plant-based doesn’t mean you have to give up meat and chicken totally,” she says ” but if you make fruits and vegetables the main part of the meal and use meat to support the many, you’ll be well on your way to switching to a mare plant-based diet”

Micaela recommends you start by finding your motivating force, what is it that motivates you about a plant-based diet? some people have personal goals such a healthier lifestyle, others have environmental and ethical goals such as to end animal cruelty. So whatever your reason is embrace it! Micaela then guides you through the process of adding little by little more and more plant-like elements to your daily eating habits. Then she provides a nice long list of recipes and food variations for you to try.


“When you build your meals primarily with plant foods, you fill your body with fiber, vitamins, minerals and healthy fats and a host of needed chemicals and nutrients that most people simply don’t get enough of,” Karlsen says.

I loved the amount of information in the book because it helps me understand the nutrients I get from food, and it also gives me ammunition against anyone who comes along with the eternal question “But, where do you get your protein if you don’t eat meat” – Oh the joys!

My plant based week included:

Drinks: coconut milk for my tea, green tea, jasmine tea and lots of water.

Meals: eggplant parmigiana, beef-less beef (tofu based) sauce and veggie pasta, spinach and quinoa on toast, salads, carrot and coconut soup, cauliflower au gratin*, potato-leek soup*, homemade rice cakes, oatmeal, veggie bowl (from Chipotle) and vegetable sushi (from HEB)

Snacks: fresh fruit, nuts, bliss balls (dates, pistachios, dried cranberries and quinoa)

* recipe in the book. 

I loved my plant-based week! and I am looking forward to continuing to develop the healthy eating habits needed to sustain a long term diet change. If you want to start and don’t know how I strongly recommend “A Plant-Based Life”. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be boring or restrictive. With some organization it is possible!

TIP: if you run a busy life and don’t have much time to cook through the week, consider prepping all your food on a Sunday. It makes life much easier.


Environmental facts to consider:

Meat, fish and dairy products have the heaviest environmental footprint of all food groups due to their effect on greenhouse gas emissions, water, and land use. Avoiding them or reducing their intake significantly makes a sustainable future possible for the whole world.

A free copy of this book was provided for reviewing purposes . Opinions are my own 

Consult your doctor before you make a significant diet change in your life. 

Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Patty Wipfler

A little way back I came across a book by Patty Wipfler, called Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Being a “single mom”  (yes, I remarried recently but my son is my parental duty and sole responsibility and he will always be) I always worry about being able to give him the tools for him to become a well-rounded adult. Parenting is not easy, even less so when done by only one parent, I always joke how babies don’t come with manuals and how it would be much easier if they did.


Anyway, I will review the book at a later date but for now, I want to leave you with this guest post that Patty has prepared for all of you.

What Are the Five Simple Tools You Need
to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges?

By Patty Wipfler, Hand in Hand Parenting

Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.  Copyright © Hand in Hand Parenting, 2016

Each of the five Hand in Hand Listening Tools plays an important role in building wellbeing for your family. The tools work together to connect you and your children. And your child’s developing mind needs a close sense of connection with you as surely as she needs food, shelter, cleanliness, and sleep.

Special Time is a simple way to pour love and attention into your child. You set aside one-on-one time, and let your child choose what the two of you will do. She will use this time to show you what’s important to her and reveal her struggles. Special Time lets your child feel seen. It deepens her trust in you, while giving you a window into her thinking. It builds the sense of safety that promotes cooperation. Special Time can help connect you and your child from her earliest years through her adolescence, young adulthood, and beyond. It’s almost always the first Listening Tool to reach for when you’re thinking, “I don’t know what to do with this kid!”

Staylistening transmits your caring while your child feels hurt or afraid, and is expressing intense feelings. She pours out the hurt she feels; you listen, and pour in your quiet confidence that she’ll recover. You protect her while she feels alone and undone. Listening to your child’s upset doesn’t mean approving of her feelings; it’s your way of bathing her in your caring during her toughest moments. As her feelings pour out, an emotional burden will lift, and she’ll be left with the deep imprint of your love and support in its place. Both you and she will learn that feelings of hurt will heal when someone listens and cares. Because most of us were not listened to in this way, Staylistening can be challenging for a parent. But this tool has the power to lift your child’s spirits and transform bothersome behavior.

Setting Limits is crucial in your work as a parent. Your child needs and deserves a limit the minute her behavior starts to veer off track. A good limit gives your child the chance to offload the emotional tension that clouds her behavior, so she can return to the fun of learning and enjoying those around her. We’ll help you recognize the early warning signals your child sends out, and show you how to set limits without harshness. There are even ways to bring a limit that will fill your child with laughter.

Playlistening is the art of eliciting laughter in play with your child, without tickling. A heartwarming, creative tool, it will strengthen your connection as you make time for fun and enjoyment. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress. Your child’s confidence will build as you learn to instigate playful role reversal and games full of friendly challenge and affection. Laughter will foster warmth in your family.

Finally, the Listening Partnership gives you a way to replenish your energy for parenting. An exchange of listening time with another parent can help you shed the stress that crops up when you live with young children. A Listening Partnership also gives you a haven for learning. You get a safe, private place to unfold your thoughts and feelings. How do you want your parenting to be different from the way you were raised? What gifts from your parents do you want to pass on? When you find yourself struggling with your child over a particular issue, how does your own past experience come into play? You’ll also have the privilege of listening to another parent as they think, feel, and learn. You won’t exchange advice, but you’ll learn from one another every time you meet. As you listen and are listened to, you’ll find it easier to enjoy your children, and to connect warmly with them during their troubled moments.

So there you have it!

Each tool is powerful in its own right, but no one tool is meant to be used alone. Setting limits—your use of parental power—is tempered with Special Time, which puts your child in the driver’s seat for short chunks of time. Playlistening, the lighthearted side of parent-child interactions, helps to balance out the full-throated drama your child goes through as you Staylisten. Your Listening Partnership is a vital learning laboratory, as well as your sanctuary. There, you are respected and understood. Your every feeling is welcome, every experience is of interest, and every thought, an important one.

With these five Hand in Hand Listening Tools, you can fully express your deep love for your kids and strengthen your family life. Enjoy!

Patty Bio Pic

By Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore the authors of
Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.

To learn more about this unique approach to relationships in the family and get your own copy of Listen, click here.


Hello Bob! bObsweep PetHair, the Perfect Companion for Busy Pet Owners

This is a Sponsored post. Opinions are my own. 

So a few weeks back we got rid of all the carpets. We said bye bye to the yellow stained cream color carpets and hello to shiny dark brown hardwood floor. However, it wasn’t until then that I realized how BAD my dog sheds hair on a daily basis. Hair was everywhere! his little goldie strands of hair up and down the stairs and on every corner of the house. I was sweeping the floor twice a day, every day!

But then out of the heavens! like sent by the vacuum goddess of clean floors the folks at bObsweep contacted me. Yay! YES! yes, I need a robotic vacuum cleaner designed for pet hair, I do! And before I could say Bob I received my brand new bObsweep PetHair.


What’s cool Bob!

Bob PetHair’s automatic floor-cleaning capacity, together with his extra-large brush, effectively take the hair off your carpets and floors. Bob’s side brush will collect the hair from those hard-to-reach corners. Once Bob PetHair is turned on or set according to your timetable, he will brush through and clean floors of all types–rugs, carpets, hardwood floors, etc–free of your pet’s hair more easily than a vacuum cleaner.

The Verdict:

Excellent battery durability. Just charge and GO. It can clean for 25+mins on one charge.

It’s cool on the corners and preventing fall-outs! It won’t fall down the stairs or crash against your furniture.

Doesn’t love cables so much mind! Make sure you move all cables to prevent tangles.

Dog hairs be gone! I was quite impressed with Bob,  it does get rid of all the hairs. It doesn’t have a large storage capacity so make sure you clean the disposal after each use.

Easy to use! You can control it with the super cool and ergonomic remote control, or you can program it to work by itself while you are at work.

I also love the fact that it’s pet-friendly. It isn’t as noisy as a traditional vacuum cleaner and my dog seems more comfortable around it.

What are you waiting for? Adopt a bObsweep  

Learn more about it by visiting:

Happy sweeping!

Tuesday Thoughts: The Way Writers Feel

I have been writing stories and poems from as long as I can remember. My mom says that when I was a child before I could spell and write I would create songs all day long. Writing is both my gift and my curse. Don’t take me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing about being a writer but I have always felt I can feel things more deeply than my peers. But perhaps we all feel that way?

I can feel the cold little drops of rain prickling on my skin, and the adventurous drop navigating down my chest.


I have this “sensitivity” that allows me to explore feelings and situations, things and people, elements and emotions in its full spectrum. I am not sure that is a good or a bad thing because I have been called sensitive one time too many to believe this is a gift, however, I am sure that it is this sensitivity that allows me to be a fiction and a poetry writer.

sen·si·tive – ˈsensədiv/

          1. quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences (of a person or a person’s  behavior) having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings.
           1. a person who is believed to respond to occult influences.


The word sensitivity implies weakness to some people, but to me being soft in a world so hard isn’t a weakness, but a strength. A strength I often encourage on my son.

I strongly believe, as also do some of my colleagues, that this special connection to feelings and emotions are that make a great fiction writer. How else can you be attuned to your surroundings? How else can you create a space with words rich enough for the reader to feel part of the story? However, I might be wrong perhaps sociopaths are perfectly capable of writing about emotions even if they don’t feel them. Perhaps it is not necessary to savor pain in order to describe it, perhaps we don’t need to know the sweet taste of happiness to write about a smile. Who knows?

I do know that lines of poetry usually float into my head, often times while I am driving, which means they get lost in the abys because by the time I get to a place where I can write the down I have already forgotten. Worlds of wonder and imagination swirl and dance in my thoughts mixed with the reality of life. No, I am not mad, I am a writer filled with creative thoughts! (LOL)

Literary writing and blogging and/or commercial writing are two different things, and just as some painters can paint one style but not the other, not all writers can write the same genre. Which is perfectly ok because we need all forms, all types, all genres.

What do you think? are all writers sensitive?

While you are at it, and if you feel like reading some Flash Fiction make sure to check out this:

Girly, Fun & Sophisticated with VoodooVixen

Hey! So, I am not a fashion blogger, however I am still a woman that loves fashion. I am also eternally in love with vintage, old school pieces. I often roam around thrift stores and online trying to find vintage pieces that go along with modern ones too. Mix and Match kind of style!

Not long ago I came across Voodoo Vixen. I Immediately feel IN LOVE with their vintage fabrics, patterns and designs. Naturally, when they offered to send me a sample I jumped into it straight away!

Voodoo Vixen is a vintaged inspired label infused with pin-up and retro styles. They are made to hug your curves and embrace your femininity with a slight revel yet sophisticated touch! Also, they are based in the heart of East London ❤ and you know my heart is forever in England sooooo, all the YES(es) to these brand.


I received the Valerie Red Skirt which has a fun vintage anchor fabric. The fabric is soft, somewhat silky  but it isn’t stretchy so keep that in mind when purchasing, as pencil skirts aren’t too forgiving when it comes to hugging your figure.


I love the quality of the fabric and the elegant yet fun look! This skirt can be dressed up with a pair of white pumps and a white shirt and cardigan for a brunch or an early afternoon tea party! It works perfectly in this hot Texas summer. Or it can be dressed down with some flats and white spaghetti straps shirt too. Whatever you do, have fun with it.

They have so many cute dresses for all occasions, and seasons. Sizes run a little small, so make sure you see the specifications before you order. The do have a line for curvy vixens too, which is great! Size shouldn’t be an impediment when it comes to looking cute!  I am very happy with this skirt and I can’t wait to wear it over and over.

Hurry now! They have a SALE going on! visit Voodoo Vixen Sale